Where Unrelenting Standards Begin and Mindset is Impacted

We have all experienced the sensation of feeling as if no matter how hard we work, no matter how much effort we integrate into all we do—there remains a feeling of needing to do more or work harder. Like it doesn’t ever feel quite enough. How does this impact your mindset? For example, when we log on to our social medias, or walk into our workplace, we are faced with the successes of others and the opportunities others are receiving. It may seem as if nothing we ever do, is enough to reach the standards that we set for ourselves and standards we believe we must reach. Additionally, thoughts that surround unrelenting standards or perfectionism lead to a negative mindset that can actually impact your ability to connect with others, motivation, and potential. While unrelenting standards may rear their ugly heads subconsciously, you are in control of how you react and choose to respond to them. Here are two simple tips to help challenge your high standards you place upon yourself, while shifting those thoughts to a more effective mindset and improve your peace and overall well-being:


  • Incorporate daily small acts of self-love


What is self-love? Dr. Andrea Brandt describes self-love as an act of “not settling for less than you deserve”. When you begin the cycle of placing unrelenting standards onto yourself—how does that make you feel? Do you feel pressure, stress, discouraged, unmotivated, unworthy? This cycle of negative mindset can be toxic and harmful to your potential and progress. Even more importantly, unrelenting standards can impact our relationships and how we connect with others—which actually showcases a lack of self-love. Instead, when you begin to notice your reactions to a colleague’s successes (i.e. a promotion) and you start to feel frustrated, as if you are not doing enough – your inner critic is ignited towards that person and/or yourself. How can one have meaningful and authentic interactions when our inner critic towards ourselves or others get in our way?  Try countering that thought with a positive act of self-love. Give yourself space to notice how you are feeling, and then take a moment to look at your successes. What have you accomplished that you are proud of? Right now, take inventory of everything you are proud of. What have you accomplished that makes you feel motivated, excited and powerful? When you begin to notice the cycle of unrelenting standards beginning, combat those thoughts with reminding yourself of your accomplishments and take note of how your wellbeing is impacted. Notice how your mindset will shift. 


  • Implementing gratitude each day


Here is a challenge—keep a journal, a notebook or a piece of paper with you throughout the day and write down an aspect of your day that you are grateful for experiencing. Acts of gratitude can look different depending on your day. Some days we spend more time relaxing and reenergizing—that is an enormous act of self-love that certainly qualifies as an act that encompasses gratitude. Did you know that a 2014 study found that regularly writing down a list of things you are grateful for can increase your optimism by 15%? Think about how great that number is. If you start to write down even three things you are grateful for each day—small or large—you can actually change the way you feel and look at the world. How powerful is that! Think about how quickly your standards you set for yourself will change. No longer will these standards focus on the need to prove your worth or how successful you are. You may even begin to notice that the unrelenting standards you used to be encompassed by, are not as important or dire as you once thought.

To Sum Up This Mindset:

Now that we have talked about two ways you can combat those unrelenting standards and replace them with acts that improve your mindset and well-being, let’s talk about how you can  continue your journey of self-love and gratitude through Mindshine. Take the guesswork out of your practice to combat your thoughts by training with the right exercises within the Mindshine App. For unrelenting standards, you may want to work on improving your confidence with “Athlete’s Confidence” training plan or deepen your self compassion in the “Love Yourself” training plan or expand your gratitude practice with “Attitude of Gratitude”.  Choose yourself, choose to practice self-love and implement daily activities that will aid in your progress towards improving your mindset, relationship with yourself and others, and your overall well-being.